First Music Draft (Flashback Scene)

I was extremely excited to receive a first draft of the flashback scene music from Dan, the music technician, and was eager to listen to it. He had previously sent an email to confirm he understood what I wanted and this was evident in the draft. I could clearly see my inspiration was incorporated but it sounded unique and eery, with unsettling ticking noises and an ongoing electrical wining noise. 

First draft:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/mny6uwh72h1yfjd/Flashback%20Scene.mp3?dl=0

I sent him an email back explaining the improvements I wanted, as shown below:

_________________________________________________________________________________

Hi Dan,

It sounds great! Thanks for creating it so quickly! I love the ticking and electrical wining noises, particularly between 1:02 to 1:15, and how they build and slow down at points. I'm not sure about the slow chiming sounds throughout (first one at 00:05 and another example at 00:25) as I think it makes the music seem too calm and almost peaceful; whereas I would like it to sound more hectic and frantic throughout. Also could you possibly add a shocking shrieking noise in a couple of times so I can give the model a sudden shock element. I am recording the whispering noises today to add into the flashbacks so will email them to you later.

Adding to what I said before, maybe also make the music slightly more fast paced to reflect how the model is feeling panicked and confused; however I do like how you build up to it being more fast paced at the beginning so please still keep in the build up. 

Thanks so much, 

Becky
_________________________________________________________________________________

Dan emailed me to clarify if I wanted the whole track to be sped up or if I wanted it to sound sped up with selected beats closer together. I said I thought adding more notes closer together would create the effect without making it sound too fast; however I said he could make the final decision as he is a lot more experienced in music production than me. I said I thought the main aspect making it sound slower were the long chiming noises in the background, making it sound almost therapeutic when I'd like it to sound more frantic and fast paced to reflect her scribbling down her nightmares. I am hoping I was clear enough in my feedback so he can develop the music into something even more suitable. I feel so happy and grateful to have the opportunity to work with such a talented music technician; it has further motivated me to create a final piece I am proud of!