When I received Dan's second draft for the flashback scene I was concerned that it still sounded very therapeutic and calming, with the constant slow background noise. I felt I had made it clear in my previous email that I didn't want this continuous noise anymore because I thought it made the music sound less frantic; however Dan still included it. This worried me because I was either not clear enough with my request or Dan decided to include it against my opinion. I will voice my concern about the lack of energy and panic in this music and hopefully explain what I think can be done to improve it.
I found it difficult to give constructive criticism because I appreciated what he was doing and that I wasn't paying him for it, but then I wanted the music to be perfect! I was quite harsh on him for the flashback scene which I found uncomfortable to write, but I knew he was capable of getting what I wanted which was frustrating to me. I was also aware that I may not have been clear enough in my last email so I included lots of detail and suggestions.
Listen to the music on the link below:
https://soundcloud.com/user-600796940/flashback2
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Hi Dan,
Thanks so much for sending both drafts through so quickly!
Flashback scene:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/lus3dvmuvycvyxk/Flashback%20v2.mp3?dl=0
I love the added whispering combined with the slightly muted music - it will work perfectly with the eery flashbacks! I agree with you about the shrieks, but I think that's my fault as I didn't explain it clearly.. I didn't mean a human shriek, I just meant I wanted a crescendo in the music that my model could do an emphasised movement to (like 01:29-01:32 in the music from the link below, or this sped up for an instant shock element). Sorry to be a pain but I still think the music sounds too therapeutic and calm with the constant slow background noise, almost like spa music, when I would like it to sound a lot more frantic and fast paced to make the viewer feel more panicked, slightly more like the powder paint scene. Maybe try experimenting with taking out the slow background music completely so it sounds more disjointed and abstract. Maybe put more emphasis on the electrical whining noise, so gradually speed it up to reach a climax before the first whispers, like 00:57-01:12 in below music? Then maybe introduce the clicking noises after the first whispering and build the clicking up to a crescendo to eventually sound something like 01:55-01:59, so with a mash up of different sounding clicks and beats throughout. I love the clicking in your draft from 01:02-01:16 so maybe you could incorporate different pitched clicks after that to speed it up and make it sound more chaotic? In the whole scene she is in a frantic state, scribbling down her nightmares, so the music needs to reflect this panicked emotion.
http://showstudio.com/project/a_beautiful_darkness/film_ruth_hogben
Powder paint scene:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/wjudxk5t456ut7g/Powder%20Paint%20Dance%20Scene.mp3?dl=0
I absolutely love this music! I think you have got the combination of power and energy with an ethereal feel perfectly! The only thing I would say is at 00:52 it feels like it drops in energy slightly when I would like there to be a continued build to a climax to show the height of her fantasy. You could possibly add a slightly different, stronger tune in the same style as the tune before, but slightly faster, to last until about 01:10 and then maybe it can suddenly stop with another swoosh noise, to then continue with the track? Also could you please make the swooshes at the beginning slightly slower and more spread out as these will be shot in slow motion. I really love this music and can't wait to get choreographing!
Thank you so much for doing this for me and being so patient, I really do appreciate it!
Becky
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I really hope Dan understands the improvements and changes I want. I am so impressed with the power paint scene music as it feels strong and empowering with harsh beats, but then still has ethereal music incorporated for a dream-like element. I am more concerned with the flashback music as it sounds too calming and not frantic enough, so hopefully it will sound more energised when he sends the next draft!
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